Nil Desperandum

It’s been a while since I posted, I try not to post too much as I’m sure that I’ll end up writing repetitive crap – if I’m not already doing that.

But I just couldn’t face it last week, I had a work trip to Edinburgh on the horizon, a few other issues at work and the usual minutiae of life to deal with.

I also couldn’t face it as Milo had been ill for quite a few days, he’d been vomiting and then had trouble walking.

Just a week before he’d been racing round the gardens for fun and now – he was wobbling and falling over.

I was terrified.

I had to take him to the vet and she knew that he was ill because he wasn’t a snarling mass – he hates the vets due to a botched operation a number of years ago and she actually calls him ‘monsterface’.

He was so passive that it was more worrying than his mobility problems and throwing up.

She gave him a couple of jabs and he then didn’t move for almost 24 hours and still wasn’t eating.

And he didn’t for days.

I managed to get his arthritis and asthma tablets into him via some corned beef on Tuesday and was ready to charter a flight home if need be.

That wasn’t necessary and we’ll come back to Milo in a while.

Some other things have happened since I last wrote.

The investment company whose employee (he wasn’t an employee when he started this shit) stole a fortune from his clients made contact to say that they were making me an offer of recompense for the money that he stole from Arthur – just another bad thing to happen to the poor old sod.

Police and Thieves

In the end

And they added the interest and the yield on investment that he’d lost.

I accepted, although it’s all going to go to Battersea as my aunt doesn’t really need or want anything, I think she’s starting to wind down and I’ll have to go and see her soon….

Work-wise, I’ve settled down to a routine of looking for improvements while looking at options for a couple of problem children that really aren’t as smart as they imagine, but they’re a sideshow or a small project to have fun with.

And I’m slowly getting my head round things.

It’s still fun and I’m not missing retirement yet, plus the money means that I’m not touching my pension pots at all, so it’s only the fucking war and uncertainty that’s draining them.

And so I went to Edinburgh on Wednesday.

It started well, my train was cancelled due to a tree on the line earlier on its journey so my three and a half hour journey became seven hours with multiple changes.

I barely noticed – it’s a minor issue in comparison.

So I missed that day of the conference, but in truth, it was an international event made up of real experts and I wouldn’t have been missed for a second.

I did get a chance to have a wander and to take in the beauty of one of our greatest cities.

I also had lunch and some wine in a nice cafe before gaining access to my room in a place just off the Royal Mile.

It was slightly bizarre, a fantastic room with a balcony and great views.

Only one small snag

You have to go through the fucking window.

Which I did once, while sober. In the light of day.

Fuck that.

Anyway.

A minor issue, it was a five minute walk from the castle.

And the conference.

I’ve mentioned this previously, but I left school at sixteen with one O Level.

But I’ve worked and lived across the world and in a number of different areas and markets.

And I retired last year.

Or not.

So, all my worries about Milo aside, Wednesday night was a first for me and a memory I’ll treasure.

Firstly.

I was the host (on behalf of my company) for the whole dinner.

INSIDE THE CASTLE.

And we got piped in.

And I sat at a table with a colonel from US Space Force, a colonel from the Canadian army, a commander from the British Navy and a number of VIPs.

My mum died 25 years ago but she was so proud of my early career achievements ( I ran the outsourced IT at Edinburgh Royal Infirmary and three more NHS trusts at the time of her dying) but I confess that I thought of her over dinner and hoped she’d approve.

On Thursday, I took myself out and deliberately didn’t ask or meet anybody else.

And some more magic happened.

An ‘X’ person with a mutual interest in good food and dogs suggested a restaurant.

Dear God.

It’s called Rhubarb.

And it’s sublime.

To cap it all ( thank you Mr Parr) a glass of whiskey arrived with his compliments with the cheeses.

I could have cried.

I was shattered and asleep by 2130 and then on the 6:52 home.

To a slightly improved Milo.

And then.

And then.

I got the little bugger to eat some pork pie. And some more.

And some more.

It’s not dog food.

But fuck it.

And I fed him more on Saturday and he was moving both faster and better.

And today I got him to come for a walk.

I fully expected him to flag within a mile and that I’d have to turn round.

He set the pace and was almost running after four miles.

Tough little bastard.

He dozed most of the afternoon, but then, I wasn’t far off.

And as I write this, I have beer on the table, sunlight flooding through the window and both doglets snuggled on the sofa with me.

I didn’t write previously because my mind was dark with presentiment.

But the shapes in the mists of my mind have backed off for now.

This week has been something of a miracle.

And I’m thankful.

Canute-ish

It’s starting to feel like spring, some days around here it only rains for an hour or so and the temperature makes double digits.

Sometimes.

On other days, the permacloud is unbroken, the winds howl and the rain is horizontal.

But this is why we have boots and rainproof clothes, to get outside for a couple of hours every day, whether working or ‘only’ doing things at home at the weekend.

The walk is the thing that defines the day, the fresh air or the smell of silage across the fields, birdsong or the raucous noise of a couple of hundred crows that live above some lucky people a mile down the lane.

The gentle susurration of the trees in the breeze or the howling gale that makes you effectively deaf and means that you have to keep looking behind you for the very occasional vehicle.

Such is life in The Shire.

The doglets aren’t too keen on the rain really, but on days like today, Milo is more than happy to strut along, tail high and gently swinging back and forth for a six mile walk, while Cairo POUNCES like some sort of big cat in her regular attempts to kill something small and squeaky.

And me?

I let the worries and issues of the real world, or the wider world if you will; trickle through my subconscious, sometimes arriving at an answer to a problem or sometimes just filing stuff away in the corners of my brain.

Retirement seems like a summer dream right now, I’m knee deep in issues from all sides and have more than a casual interest in the issues in the gulf right now.

In three weeks or so, I have to break out the black tie and go to a conference being hosted by the American military.

It’s not what I was expecting at this time last year, that’s for sure.

But this weekend, I hung pictures that an amazing artist painted on commission and fitted two safes so that casual burglars can’t just steal things.

And earlier in the week, I met a friend in Bath and we discussed the huge issues along with the small, politics and trivia, we accurately predicted a by election result and agreed that we didn’t really care.

The goal is to stay as content as you can, change what you’re able and let the other stuff wash over you.

Take the tiniest of wins and let them fuel you.

Yesterday, I found a lost dog, then I reunited her with owner.

A few weeks ago, I stopped my local parish from raising the precept, arguing successfully that:

We have a surplus

That putting it up was just kicking people even more when they’re down.

It’s not much, but.

If even once a week, we do something that helps others more, maybe we’ll at least hold the tide, even if we can’t turn it.