Chapter One

In which our small hero tells us the truth about meteorology and bacon.

And we’re back, where have you been? I don’t mean physically, I’ve seen you every day, run with you, played sticks and chased balls and generally loving being ME, all ME.

But I haven’t been able to get through to your dreams, I tried and tried and tried, but could only see the outlines of what’s happening. But we’re back now and I think I know what to do to keep the connection.

Give me your finger, I’m just going to nip it gently, in this world and the other, you’ll wake up with a slight cut, but we won’t lose the connection again. That’s it, it didn’t hurt too much did it?

Let’s go for a walk again, I think we’ll head to the pond today, I can show you what it’s like for me there, how much fun it is and the way that the water smells and ripples through my fur when I swim.

Before that though, let me tell you a bit about me.

I remember being born, the sudden light and sound, the smell of the blood and the feel of my mother nuzzling me awake and into the world.

And I knew my name, my real name that is and I knew my place in things and how our worlds are starting to intersect.

I have one brother and one sister, we were a small litter and they’re not like me, they’re just “dog”, they’re cute and smart though and if I think about them enough, I can see where they are and what they’re feeling.

They’re both happy and safe – and they don’t know that I watch over them as much as I can. They don’t like storms though, I think they felt how different I was and how storms affect me.

Storms.

Lightning – sparks from Thor’s Anvil

Thunder – the sound of his hammer

This is true. This is exactly what Lightning and Thunder are.

Well – mostly.

When the worlds were further apart, you could easily disprove that, now Lightning appears from mid-air and the Thunder follows so quickly afterwards that you can’t count it.

Your white coat men have theories, but they never quite work do they, there’s only one explanation that works.

Thor.

The bastard.

He knows that I love this stuff and I’m sure that he knows that I bark at the lightning and laugh at the thunder and drink in the rain, trying to get that connection back to the other world and run at his feet while we fight our enemies.

Yes, our enemies.

But I need more time to explain that to you, for now, we’ll talk about bacon..

Bacon, or more correctly pronounced BAAAAACONNNNNNN!!!!! is literally the food of the Gods.

When the gods divided up the world below and split it into areas of influence, the mono-gods and those greek fairies missed a trick that Odin played on them.

He made the flesh of the only true divine animal apart from small dogs into something that was dangerous if you lived somewhere hot and didn’t know how to treat it.

Because Odin loves the cold lands and he loves bacon with a passion that is impossible to believe unless you see it.

Bacon has healing properties against the effects of drink. And you know how much those Norse bastards love a drink.

Bacon brings balance.

Bacon brings health.

Bacon IS divine.

And so are pigs, they’re smarter than most humans and they know that they are Odin’s chosen animals. In the wild, they’re fearsome and huge, fierce and yet wise.

The perfect animal

Apart from small dogs with divine connections and a sense of humour.

Ahhhhhhh. Bacon.