This has been a very long trip. 

I flew from London on the 20th April and will finally fly back in the early hours of the 13th June. 

This has been a very strange trip. 

Earlier trips included delegations from the client and a large number of colleagues from the UK and Germany, I’ve been alone here for the past four weeks now and I think that I’ve become a bit institutionalised. 

Here’s my day

• Wake up after a crappy night’s sleep
• Go to the gym and work out for 30 minutes or so
• Go to Breakfast, sit alone, read a book for a while
• Go to the pool – read a book by an empty pool
• Sort my laundry
• Shower, get ready for work, take a car to the office
• Work mostly alone, have occasional conference calls, take a car to the hotel late evening
• Go to the gym if there’s time
• Go to dinner, sit alone, play on twitter, have one or two drinks
• Go to bed, watch catchup TV, sleep badly

Repeat

And Repeat

And Repeat

I’ve become very internalised and have actually caught myself thinking like I’m actually writing a blog; as it seems the easiest way to process what’s going on. 

In case this seems like a whinge, it really isn’t. 

I’ve been lucky enough to have two excellent weekends in Thailand that would never have happened if I’d been working in the UK. 

I’ve seen some wondrous sights and I’ve met some great people who I hope will remain as friends a long time after this role / project / job finishes. 

I’ve swum in the sea during a monsoon; dared the lightning to kill me and been to ancient temples and huge monuments. 

   
                             I’ve laughed so hard at times that I honestly thought I’d pass out and I’ve danced with ladyboys and huge Russians. 

Trouble is, they’re the exception days. 
Today so far has been. 

• Wake up after a crappy night’s sleep
• Go to the gym and work out for 30 minutes or so
• Go to Breakfast, sit alone, read a book for a while
• Go to the pool – read a book by an empty pool
• Sort my laundry
• Shower, get ready for work, take a car to the office
• Work mostly alone, have occasional conference calls

I’ll eat the same food (ish) tonight as I did yesterday and will pop my head in the bar to see if there’s any reason to avoid going to bed ridiculously early. 

And then tomorrow will be the same. 

Friday will be a day of last minute arrangements, goodbyes (because I don’t intend to come back to this project), packing and hanging around until 2am so that I can be trolled by the ridiculous spectacle that they’ve turned Chennai airport into. 

And then a ten hour flight, hopefully with lashings of gin before landing at Heathrow. 

And then what?

I don’t know. 

I do know that I have tickets to Graspop in Belgium for Thursday to Sunday next week and that I have meetings in London to discuss next steps  / roles with the job. 

One option is to come back here for another 3-5 months – not very attractive right now. Particularly as I’m starting to loathe the FuckedUpProjectOfDoom with a vengeance now. 

Other work options are a little less clear today. 

It’ll all work out I suppose, but I’m a bit worried that I may have changed more than I think. I was never the most talkative person (unless you got me started and then I’d never shut the fuck up) and now I speak less than a few hundred words a day. 

And I’ve been living one day at a time, no thoughts of even the immediate future – I haven’t even started to plan to pack yet. 

Institutionalised. 

It’s going to be strange all round, for me and those who know me. 

 I hope that they bear with me for a while. 

The new quieter me is probably going to be a massive pain in the arse to be around back in England and I’ll need to shed some of the reserve I’ve built around myself. 

Hopefully Graspop, heavy metal music for three days, excellent company and a shitload of beer will help. 

On the plus side, I’m getting out of this fucking office, that fucking hotel and a massively boring routine  that still has these steps to take today. 

• take a car to the hotel late evening
• Go to the gym if there’s time
• Go to dinner, sit alone, play on twitter, have one or two drinks
• Go to bed, watch catchup TV, sleep badly

It’s been a very long and strange trip and it isn’t quite over.