Hold tight for this one, I genuinely don’t know where I’m going with this post or what I expect when I finish writing.

I’ve mentioned a few times that I’m back at work for a year to help one of my best friends with her new huge (and hugely important role).

I’m not really giving anything away if I use the word Skynet, it’s one of the most important things I’ve ever worked for.

The learning curve is steep on one side, but on the other is the thing that I’m already very good at.

People.

And I’ve shed the retired version of me completely, I’m back to being all the things I need to be.

Supportive. Warm. Encouraging. Engaging. Understanding. Curious. Kind. Patient. Coldly analytical. Watchful. Scrutinising. Quietly judging. Assessing. Constantly assessing.

I’m doing two days a week onsite, leaving home at 5am so that I’m one of the first people there and spending all day in discussions and face to face meetings rather than Teams calls.

And I watch.

And I listen.

I’m making a number of changes this week, some that I haven’t telegraphed and one that will be seen exactly as it is.

A response to a challenge.

The outcome is inevitable and the new structures will work, with or without casualties, hopefully the latter.

I stay in a hotel in Bath, go out for drinks and dinner, live music and walking around.

And I bought a new, very small, very clever camera just for taking shots as I walk.

It’s been pissing it down for weeks and the streets are quiet in the gloom of the evening, with only the streetlights and traffic signals providing colour on the pavements.

The roads are packed with cars until mid-evening and it’s faster to walk unless you’re deliberately taking streets and turns at whim to see what’s next.

It’s been an interesting experience, I’m mostly looking for something pretty or eye catching as I walk, but I’m watching the shadows and streets more than I normally would so that I can take that half-second to raise and point the camera, click and shoot, then pocket it again.

I see more than I used to.

From the beauty outside the pubs to the movement and conversation of the people inside, from empty streets that open onto huge views and converted chapels that look as if they belong in a cyberpunk film.

And I’ve started to really see the huddled shapes in doorways, squeezed against the wall of a car park that faces the river, that sleep three stories underground in a doorway, their few possessions clutched tight.

They’re mostly young, under 40 or so, mostly men that I’ve seen so far and they’re all white.

So, so many.

I took a colleague to The Raven for drinks on Thursday night and shared the glorious story of Starmer being ejected.

And we went to a lovely pub /restaurant called the Salamander for food.

And I talked to him about taking the pretty photos – taking this one of a screen inside the pub while we sat there.

And we went our separate ways to our hotels.

And on the intersection, a young man was screaming for help, he wanted somebody, anybody to give him money towards a hostel, he was crying genuine tears, had no booze nearby, but did have packed sandwiches, was outwardly fit and didn’t show any real signs of substance addiction.

Although.

What the fuck do I know?

What I do know is that some well heeled tourists were dashing away from him and that he was completely alone.

And I did something out of character.

I was wearing a waterproof coat that’s just…. green.

It’s massively expensive.

So is my little camera.

And I was flush with cash.

And I felt..

Something.

I talked to him and gave him more than he said he needed for the hostel.

And he cried and cried.

And he tried to give me change.

I don’t know what he did next.

But he asked God to bless me and I felt..

Something.

And I walked back to my hotel and I couldn’t go inside for over 15 minutes.

Because I worked out what I felt.

It certainly wasn’t smugness or pride in my little gesture.

It was shame.

I was ashamed.

And still am.

Our brothers and sisters, daughters and sons are living on the streets while our government does nothing.

And I haven’t either.

I’ve started looking at ways I can help.

If I can.

We’ll see.

How was your week?

Mine could have been a lot worse, I travelled to Bath for a couple of days midweek for work and was sat in a bar on Thursday evening watching the progress of the storm that was hitting.

Bath had torrential rain that moved sideways thanks to the gale force winds but was otherwise fine.

Elsewhere and on my journey home, the snowstorm was actually as bad as the dire predictions had warned of.

I went to bed on Thursday night with a plan that diverged at the point of wake -up.

At 5am, I’d check the roads and.

Drive home and try to get back for a call with my friend / boss that couldn’t be cancelled as it was addressing a number of concerns for the wider teams.

Concerns that I’d spent all week trying to resolve.

Or.

I’d go back to bed, do the call at 9am and maybe stay another night.

It was a judgment call and I did a mental coin-flip at 5am and decided to drive home.

The roads were flooded in parts and then.

All was white.

We’d suddenly become Canada.

At times, only one lane was passable on the motorway, a services was closed due to the lorries that couldn’t get up the hill in the snow, leaving them stranded on the entrance slip.

Trees were bent down over with the weight of the snow and there was no way to say where the road began or ended on either side.

And yet.

For maybe the first time that I can remember, everybody but everybody drove as if they were adults and paying attention.

Nobody was trying to be macho or show how fast their car was.

If we were doing 30mph in a single lane, that’s what everyone did.

I got home with time to spare and the day actually went very well.

I took time to walk the doglets, two little bundles of bouncing joy and barking after two days apart and we walked for a while in the deep snow.

Saturday passed very pleasantly and ended with wine and a log fire and Sunday was planned to be much the same.

Except…

I found some dumped medical supplies for two different people on the road near the house.

And a minor miracle happened.

I went to Facebook to see if I could find anyone.

People responded immediately.

And….

Within an hour, the daughter of an older man met me to pick up his vital supplies – she even tried to give me £10, which was lovely but…

And then, an hour ago, the parents of a young boy picked his stuff up.

I don’t know what went wrong and don’t care.

And I don’t feel at all virtuous.

I’m just glad that this week; people helped each other because it’s the right thing to do.

For the thing itself.

Perfect.