Fog swirls and eddies around, nothing can be seen past the shapes it makes and remakes, confusing the eyes and tricking the senses. Water laps somewhere at the edge of hearing and boards creak.
A voice calls out.
A fiery arrow arcs into vision and hisses into water.
It’s not a bad metaphor for life in some ways, we’re all on that ship and the future in front of us is uncertain and we can’t go back.
To be fair though, it’s also part of one of my favourite films, you may never have heard of it, or you’ll have skipped over it as being possibly stupid or lightweight.
LIke all the best stories, it’s a tale of selflessness and sacrifice, of redemption and courage, tolerance and honour; it also has this prayer, spoken by the main players at a point of almost certain death.
Lo, There do I see my Father, and
Lo, there do I see my Mother, and
Lo, There do I see my Brothers and my Sisters and
Lo, There do I see my people back to the begining, and
Lo they do call to me, and
bid me take my place among them in the halls of Valhalla,
Where the brave will live forever.
It’s a real prayer apparently and dated around 100 AD.
Something in the acceptance of death and the knowledge that the way you go out depends on you resonates in me and I always watch that scene with an almost childlike awe.
Anyway, enough of the film.
I’m back in Chennai, when I last wrote, I was in London and not feeling at my best; my own personal demon had come to visit and I was worried that he may stay.
I know that I have to sort a number of things out, but I’m not in a bad place at all today.
I’ve been back five days (almost) and have already moved hotel once. There was nothing really wrong with the first one, just no view of the sky from the pool (or sunbeds ;/ ) and really nowhere to walk to.
I did go for a walk on Tuesday morning, but the landscape was.. Uninspiring.
I’ve now moved to the Kohinoor Asiana (if anybody wants to buy me a drink) and it’s a vast improvement, even if I don’t have a beach.
And once again, I can feel the fabric of reality lessening slightly, I’ve already bumped into Shiva once, via a 3rd party and it seems like we may just yet fuck a few things up at some point.
Maybe this weekend.
Which may be the last weekend I get for a month or so, my work trip is definitely going to extend until I don’t know when.
So I escaped the city last night.
I’ve come to Pondicherry, a French resort full of bars and restaurants and plan to spend like a drunken sailor.
I’ve already spent almost two hours in the sea and stood in monsoon-level rain last night during an EPIC thunderstorm – so I think I’ve probably reconnected with Shiva.
I’m going to find his local temple in the next day or so and say hello.
Unless he comes out today to help me fuck things up.
Enjoy your weekend wherever you are.
Keep searching through the fog…..